Issues within relationships, whether within a family or a couple, are unhealthy and stressful, but you may find solutions are just around the corner.

Frequently, having a defined space in which to discuss issues, work through problems, and develop better strategies for coping with similar situations can help heal and restore trust and connections.

Professional Help is Available

  • Our staff is CSAT trained, professional, knowledgeable, caring, and discrete
  • We offer state-of-the-art assessment instruments for accurate diagnosis
  • We employ scientifically proven and evidence based practices to help you achieve and maintain recovery
  • We offer a variety of treatment options to meet your individual needs, including: individual therapy, couples therapy, group therapy, treatment for other mental health conditions that may be interacting with your compulsive behaviors

Types of Relationship Issues

Marriage Problem

Worn down by sarcasm, fighting, passive aggressiveness, or stony silences? Missing the old warmth and affection? Arguing about sex, money, in-laws? Don’t wait until it’s too late. With our help you and your partner can stop arguing and rediscover the passion. You can stop avoiding one another and start feeling close again. You can build a strong, honest, mutually supportive relationship and sustain it for the rest of your lives.

You can learn new, more effective ways to speak and listen to each other. If you are stressed out, you can learn to carve out a nurturing, pleasurable space for each other in the midst of your busy week. You can find out how to transform your arguments into opportunities to manage conflict and work as a team.

5 mistakes couples make that keeps them struggling for connection:

  • Blaming or attacking your partner.
  • Engaging in repetitive arguments.
  • Seeking to be heard rather than to trying to listen.
  • Avoiding difficult conversations.
  • Needing to always be right.

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Intimacy issues

While couples that feel they have intimacy issue are oftentimes referring to physical intimacy, intimacy issues encompass a connection that builds between people over time, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Intimacy issues can manifest in a relationship in many forms, including:

  • Unequal definition of physical relationship or difficulty communicating or satisfying needs
  • Feelings of rejection or perceived abandonment within a relationship
  • Unequal pace of physical relationship causing strain or stress within a relationship
  • How to communicate your emotional needs
  • How to build and maintain trust
  • Forming a deep, connecting relationship instead of “putting up walls”

The first step of resolving intimacy issues is to understand them, then to find ways to break destructive cycles and ultimately regain the intimacy and connection you desire with your partner.

If you feel you and your partner have intimacy issues, please contact us to schedule a consultation.

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Infidelity

The pain and shock of discovering a partner’s infidelity can be one of life’s most traumatic events. As such, it should come as no surprise that it often takes several years for couples to effectively repair a relationship after infidelity comes to light.

Some things to keep in mind about surviving infidelity:

  • Many couples are able to recover from infidelity and can develop a stronger relationship with more intimacy and closeness.
  • Several factors influence how successful couples are at saving a relationship after an affair: the quality of the relationship prior to the discovery of infidelity, both partners’ commitment to making a relationship work, effective communication skills, and counseling are critical to successful recovery.
  • The true motivation underlying infidelity can sometimes be hard to identify. As such, couples may come up with explanations that do not adequately explain what happened. If this is the case, the underlying problem does not get addressed and cheating is likely to happen again. Even ending a relationship may not resolve the problem because infidelity can often follow individuals into their next relationship.
  • Serial cheating is much more difficult to resolve than a onetime affair as it is often linked to personality characteristics, or perhaps a sexual addiction
  • Infidelity can also be an indicator of larger relational problems such as a fundamental incompatibility or intimacy disorder.
  • Often, a partner that was cheated on will benefit greatly from trauma therapy

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Codependence

The National Mental Health Association states that co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another. It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have healthy, mutually satisfying relationships. It is sometimes called “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive. Other symptoms often experienced in codependents are:

  • Controlling behaviors
  • Distrust in self and/or others
  • Perfectionism, rigidity, and difficulty adjusting to change
  • Avoidance of, and difficulty identifying, feelings
  • Intimacy and boundary problems
  • Caretaking behavior – often with an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others
  • Hyper-vigilance (a heightened awareness for potential threat/danger)
  • Physical illness related to stress
  • Extreme need for approval and recognition
  • Fear of being abandoned or alone
  • Tendency to do more than their share, and to become hurt when people don’t recognize their efforts

The first step in changing unhealthy behavior is to understand it. It is important for co-dependents and their family members to educate themselves about the course and cycle of addiction, and how it extends into their relationships. Change and growth is necessary for the co-dependent and his or her family. Any care taking behavior that allows or enables abuse to continue in the family needs to be recognized and stopped. The co-dependent must identify and embrace his or her feelings and needs. This may include learning to say “no,” to be loving yet tough, and learning to be self-reliant. It is possible to find freedom, love, and serenity in recovery from codependence.

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Adult Children of Alcoholics

Do you find that you exhibit identifiable traits that reveal past abuse or neglect from being brought up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional household? Perhaps showing traits such as:

  • You’re a people-pleaser but may have lost your own identity in the process
  • Sometimes mistake personal criticism as a threat
  • Exhibit alcoholic tendencies, practice other addictive behaviors, or married someone who exhibits these characteristics
  • Feel an overdeveloped sense of responsibility
  • Feel more concerned with others than with self
  • Tendency to be dependent on others
  • Fear of abandonment and take extreme measures to hold onto a relationship

These symptoms of the family disease of alcoholism or other dysfunction made us “co-victims,” those who take on the characteristics of the disease without necessarily ever taking a drink. We learned to keep our feelings down as children and kept them buried as adults. As a result of this conditioning, we confused love with pity, tending to love those we could rescue. Even more self-defeating, we became addicted to excitement in all our affairs, preferring constant upset to workable relationships.

Through therapy and a therapeutic 12-step program, we begin to recognize the negative parenting messages from our childhoods that drive our lives. We learn how to replace them with healthy behaviors. This is a first step toward “reparenting.” As we gradually reparent ourselves, our outlook on life changes. We begin to look at it from an emotionally mature perspective. Ultimately, we become happier, stronger, more capable people – more able to handle life. We learn to respect others and ourselves. The quality of our lives improves as we learn to define and communicate our boundaries, and insist that they be honored.

*adapted from www.adultchildren.org

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